In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

This movie seems to be an attempt at starting the next great epic medieval good against evil series of movies, but after this trailer I don’t think it will have the chance. The first thing that sticks out to me is the casting. Burt Reynolds as a King? Seriously? He was good as Boss Hog in the Dukes of Hazard movie but come on! Then, Ray Liotta as some crazy evil sorcerer, nice try, he was a great “good fella” but I just can’t see him as the possible bringer of destruction. Lastly, Jason Statham as a skinny farmer out for revenge just doesn’t capture my imagination like it should. Honestly, if I was evil, I really wouldn’t be too worried.

After getting over the casting issues, the next thing that bothers me is the one thing that I think movie trailers should never do-give away the entire plot of the movie. Here is what I can tell you about this movie that I have never seen(and will never). This crazy evil sorcerer guy slowly moves across the earth taking over everything his power and his army touches and finally descends upon this kingdom ruled by Boss Hog. King Hog’s army can do nothing to stop him and they resort to asking this, somehow connected to the king, farmer to do the deed of saving the world. The farmer declines because he happens to be shoulder deep in love with his woman and tells the king to kiss it. Suddenly, the king gets ill (poison?) and the farmer’s girl is killed by the evil guy (or so he thinks). Now the farmer wants nothing but vengeance. It is decided that the only way to kill the “Liotta” is to sneak behind the evil army and kill the bad guy with just a small force (like a fellowship perhaps?). Finally, the farmer ends up killing the “Liotta” and saves the world. I know less details of the end, but I am not sitting through all that just to see how it ends.

There you go. I have done you a favor because this movie will be awful and a waste of money. I very much doubt that we will ever see the sequel because they will only make a sequel for a movie that makes money at the box office and this movie will only make it to like #4 on its opening weekend at best. 1 month after its release, it will be gone-finally.

Besides, isn’t Dungeon Siege a video game?